As
a Conestoga wagon with a hunched-over couple makes its way through a shallow river, a band of men on horseback stops it to
demand its cargo. The lead bandit even insists on "a little one-on-one time with the missus". The driver, Jayne, suggests
they reconsider, insulting the frumpily dressed woman sitting next to him. As "she" raises her head, it turns out to be Mal,
who continues the banter with Jayne until they suddenly pull their weapons on the bandits. The subsequent exchange of gunfire,
aided by Zoë in the wagon, quickly defeats the bandits. At a celebration party that night, an inebriated Jayne and Mal accept
gifts from the poor townspeople. Mal's is a wreath, a bowl of wine, and a dance from a lovely young woman.
After
Serenity is underway again, while Mal is putting away some cargo, he is surprised by the young woman, who announces that she
is his wife. Mal asks Zoë to call Wash
down, presumably to have him return to the planet, but Zoë calls the entire crew down to the cargo bay to enjoy the show.
While Mal sputters his insensitive attempts to disavow "Mrs. Reynolds", Shepherd Book quickly reads up on the local customs
and finds that the wreath, wine, and dance were a marriage ritual. The captain is indeed married to this mystery girl.
Mal
has a heart-to-heart talk with the woman, whose name he eventually learns is Saffron. He tries to convince the frightened,
submissive woman that she should stand up for herself. At a loss for what to do, he suggests that she start a life for herself
on their destination world, Beaumonde. She promises to be a good wife, but Mal claims "I'd be a terrible husband. You have
five whole days to figure that out." She runs off excitedly to cook him a meal. Mal encounters Book, who tells him about possible
divorce procedures, but makes clear how he feels about Mal's position: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going
to burn in a very special level of Hell. One they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre."
Saffron
turns out to be every bit as good a cook as she claimed. As Wash's mouth waters
over Mal's boon, Zoë expresses her contempt for the situation — both Mal's "nubile little slave girl" and Wash's
implied desire for a wife who cooks. Escaping an offer to have his feet washed, Mal runs off to Inara's shuttle to engage
in a more comfortable conflict. In the process of complaining about Mal's irregular schedule and its impact on her work, Inara
gets around to expressing her contempt for his making a commitment to this woman and then breaking it. She finally chases
him out of the shuttle, where he immediately encounters an armed and menacing Jayne.
Cocking
his favourite rifle, Jayne advances on Mal, demanding respect and explaining how he acquired the gun in a battle against six
men. Suddenly, Jayne hands the rifle to Mal. "You offering me a trade?", wonders Mal. After dismissing Jayne's rude attempt
at barter, Mal again encounters Saffron, who concedes that she would find work on Beaumonde an acceptable alternative to wedded
life. Mal surprises himself by sharing some personal history with her, which he apparently hasn't done with anyone else in
the crew.
Meanwhile,
Serenity passes another craft in space. On the other craft, two men discuss the potential for salvaging the Firefly-class
ship, "if she comes our way".
Zoë
continues to argue with Wash about the problem Saffron represents, which to
Wash seems more like a problem with Zoë. Meanwhile, Mal enters his quarters
to find Saffron, wrapped only in a sheet, warming his bed. She insists that, since they are married, she wants to consummate
their marriage, even if she is to stay behind on Beaumonde. Mal works hard not only to resist her alluring arguments, but
also to insist that she not feel beholden to him just because she was treated as an offering of payment. Saffron convincingly
demands that he give her "my wedding night" using a quote from her bible, and contemplating the "special Hell", Mal finally
succumbs to a kiss. He quickly succumbs to unconsciousness as well, ("Son of a...") from a potent narcotic contained in her
lipstick and the formerly charming ingénue now scornfully observes his senseless form.
Saffron
then goes to the bridge to seduce Wash, but Wash
more successfully resists her charms, especially given that he's married to "a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinkie".
As he yammers on about Zoë, Saffron rolls her eyes and suddenly kicks him unconscious and off the bridge, locking the door
and going to work on the controls. She then welds the bridge doors shut and heads for a shuttle, but is intercepted by Inara.
The con artist turns her charms on Inara, who appears to warm to her vulnerability. When the ship alarm sounds, however, both
women abruptly drop their pretences, exchanging ironic compliments before a brief fight that allows Saffron to escape in the
unoccupied shuttle. Thinking that Mal has been killed, Inara rushes to his room, where he groggily responds to her panicked
exclamations. She kisses him and goes to call for help, but soon gets dizzy. Touching her hand to her lips, she realizes how
Saffron disabled Mal ("Oh, you stupid son of a…") before collapsing herself.
Mal
finally awakens to find most of the crew in his quarters. Simon describes the "good night kiss" that took him out, Wash
bemoans having been kicked instead, and Inara comically (and repeatedly) explains that she hit her head falling. Jayne and
Kaylee break into the bridge, and Kaylee and Wash get to work on the "masterful
job of muck-up" that Saffron made of their ship. Inara suggests that Saffron is exceptionally talented, possibly even Companion
Academy-trained.
On
their own spacecraft, the scavengers observe Serenity approaching, saying, "That girl's a wonder."
Serenity's
crew finally gets a reading on their heading — right into an electronic disassembly net. While Kaylee struggles to get
navigational ability, Jayne uses "Vera" to shoot up one of the net's nodes, shorting the structure just as Serenity passes
through, unharmed. (Jayne also returns the scavengers' threat of depressurization by blowing out a port of their spacecraft,
killing the unsuited men.)
On
a snowy world, Saffron is packing when Mal bursts into her cabin. After a brief struggle, accompanied by Mal's mockery of
their supposed wedding nuptials, he asks her why she would go through so much trouble for her con game. "You're assuming the
payoff is the point," she replies. After exchanging dubious compliments, and having failed to satisfy his curiosity about
her real name, Mal simply knocks her unconscious and leaves with his shuttle.
Back
on Serenity, Mal presses Inara for an explanation of how she, a "graceful woman", managed to hit her head while calling for
help. When Inara acknowledges that she didn't trip, Mal jumps to wrong conclusion: "I knew you let her kiss you!" Though her
professional reputation has taken a minor hit, Inara's emotional indiscretion with the groggy captain remains her secret.
